Marjorie Greenfield—

Last year I had a conversation with a new mom who was just tortured about going back to work. She felt like she was doing something terrible, leaving the baby with a sitter while she returned to teaching at a local college. On the other hand, when we explored the alternative (taking a leave of absence from her job) she didn’t feel that was acceptable either. They couldn’t really afford it, and she felt she had worked so hard to get to this level, she didn’t want her career to falter. Then we talked about what she wanted her daughter to learn from her, and it was clear that she hoped that her daughter would “make something of herself” and also would be proud of her mom’s achievements. She seemed to feel better thinking that being a role model for her daughter was doing something for her, something she couldn’t do by staying home. She did go back to work, and after a few months she was glad to be working. Not that it wasn’t a hard adjustment, and not that she didn’t frequently have pangs of guilt, but the decision felt right.

Some moms always planned to stay home when the kids were little (if finances allowed it); alternatively other moms knew from the start that they were better off dividing their time between paid work and parenting. For these families the decisions may be fairly easy. But many moms struggle with these choices, or can’t do what they really want due to financial constraints. It can be hard to find a balance that is right for the family.

For more on this issue, including thoughts on a future when this discussion will apply to both moms and dads, read what 40 women from different backgrounds had to say in the last chapter of The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book: Finding Your Balance.

Marjorie Greenfield, M.D., is a practicing, board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, a fellow of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and associate professor of reproductive biology at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine. Dr. Greenfield has written hundreds of articles for the Web and currently blogs about pregnancy for Yahoo.com.

Further Reading: